


My Mind is a War Zone

by hamilton_fanatic1776



Category: Hamilton Musical - Fandom
Genre: Anger, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 14:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15776262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamilton_fanatic1776/pseuds/hamilton_fanatic1776
Summary: Hamilton has a breakdown and Jefferson tries to comfort him.





	My Mind is a War Zone

**Author's Note:**

> My inner demons have taken over and I want nothing more than to punch a wall. So I thought I'd write out a story about how I feel instead.

Jefferson walked into the room where the Continental Congress was held and sat down next to a broken, crying Alexander. He pushed away their differences for the moment to make sure he was ok.

“Hey, Alex? What’s wrong?”

He snapped, not really angry at him, but just in a bad state.

“Nothing, I’m fine!”

Jefferson caught his retort and reminded himself that he needs someone to help him, not get angry at him.

“Hamilton, I know that’s a lie. I won’t keep pushing, but I need to make sure you’re going to be ok. We may have our moments where we tear each other apart, but I still do care about you.”

He broke down harder than he had been and hid in his arms.

“I can’t handle this anymore. My mind has taken over my life. The demons in my head won’t shut the fuck up.”

Jefferson put his hand on his shoulder.

“Is there anything in particular that happened to set you off?”

Alex slammed his fist on the table.

“I can’t do anything right, I fucked up our country’s financial system, we’re in debt because of me, I’m fucking worthless to everyone, and…”

He got up and punched the wall with enough force to cause bruises to his hand. Jefferson winced and grabbed his wrists.

“Alexander, listen to me. I’m not going to tell you it’s ok because it’s obviously not. But I can’t have you hurting yourself. As it seems you already have.”

He turned his arms over and looked up at him.

“Alex...look. I’m not here to judge you. I’m not here to make you feel worse. I’m here to do my best to help you. I want the feisty, energetic, determined Hamilton we all know and tolerate.”

Jefferson gave him a weak smile.

“I’m slightly kidding about the last part. We all care about you. What can I do to help you?”

Hamilton sat on the floor and hid in his knees.

“I don’t know. I don’t know how to help myself.”

He sat down and hugged him.

“Do you want me to see if Lauren’s can come? I think he can help you better than I can.”

He nodded and let Jefferson hug him.

“Um...thanks, Thomas. For being patient and actually caring.”

Jefferson patted his back and texted Laurens.

“Yeah, no problem. But can we go back to being rivals again tomorrow? This is kind of awkward.”

Alex let himself laugh for once.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

They both had a good laugh then parted ways.


End file.
